🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?